Jim: Yeah, that's the thing. Seven forty-six, my alarm clock goes off. Nellie: I'm Tinkerbell. That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry. But here's the truth. Everyone would have the same job. Um, I … Lie down right here. There’d be no titles. Thirty boxes arrived yesterday from England and two trunks from Florida. Everybody told me if I moved to America, I'd be murdered. Whack! Everyone would have the same job. I'll take your job by rejecting the title. She's a person! Robert: I'm sorry? Before I was a magician, I used to work at a rope factory. No real skills. That is my curse! Jim: That's crazy. Okay. Very destructive. Nellie: Can I see the wound? One, have you ever killed a woman? Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? You've been terrific in your interim capacity. This site sets cookies with your browser and may collect personal information. Didn't see the movie. Nellie: Well, I'll tell you how. Bzz, whack. Whoa. Nellie: Go on. 'Cause that's not a real place. I'm calling you from the new Arrowhead, which is why my voice is crystal clear. There'd be no desks. It goes a long way with me. Nellie: I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood. Mm. Have a nap. I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff on the basketball court. Jim: Oh, I'll do it. There's something going on. Nellie Bertram is a fictional character on the U.S. comedy television series The Office, portrayed by Catherine Tate.She first appears as a guest star in the seventh season, where she interviewed for the Regional Manager position at the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch. Magic? And if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with? Uh-uh. Just... Just, somewhere in the middle. Magicians are repulsive. Robert: Well, Nellie, I'm sorry. Gabe: A little unspecific. [points to Jim] After you decided I wasn't "a good fit-" Here's one with his face whited out. Dwight K. Schrute: Ah! Robert: No, no, no, no. Nellie: Ugh! Maybe someone threw a pie in his face. Robert: I bet. In fact, I think they're brilliant employees, in their own way. And yet, I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had, and I got it. Nellie: Where there's a will, there's a way. Sockee! Seven more times I did that. It's Jim. Nellie: That is amazing. I'd take your job, but I'd reject the title. Strong, powerful. Jim: [picks a card] It's the four of hearts. It's not even a real English duo. Robert: [laughing] Nellie, really, nine-fifty? Dwight K. Schrute: You heard me! Nellie: I came in here simply trying to get to know you, learn your names, maybe have someone teach me the company song. [laughs] Same goes for me. 4 Nov. 2020. No willpower. Robert: We have a manager. Be honest, does Jim really get up in the night? Okay, well, um, I like consistency in the manager's position, no weird silent coups. Stuff like that. Robert: I don't think you would have shown up to work nearly an hour late for no reason. Um, I feel like there might be a conflict there, and if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with? Nellie: On first impressions, so I recommend smiling. Scratch everything from before. Nellie: At least once a month, the lowest performing person... bye-bye! Nellie Bertram: First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. Hmm? Robert: Nellie! Magician: [yells] What the hell? Bloody loam, I came from. You leave me no choice but to get to know you in a more intimate way. Nellie: First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. No offense. Quotes.net. Bzz, whack! Nellie Bertram: First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. More division. Jim: Which Spice Girl? More cubicles. And once a month, the lowest person... [Imitates cutting throat] Buh-bye. That’s barely healed. Jim: That's very interesting. Nellie: Ah! The Office (2005-2013) is an American NBC situation comedy and mockumentary, based on the British show of the same name, set in a paper-products office in Scranton, Pennsylvania where Andrew Bernard, the position formerly held by Michael Scott, mana…. Nellie: Oh, I’ve already found it. Toby: But there aren't... Nellie: Symbol of transparency. Nellie: I just made you look like the goat of Dover. Hmm? Robert: [to Dwight] Why is Jim treating the magician poorly? I'm guessing he's some kind of close romantic friend. No, nothing is more repellent than magicians. Dwight: [show her the wound] Oh God. We were just... I used it earlier myself. That’s disgusting. Some stress in your life. Come on over here, huh? She is an original character, and has no counterpart in the original British version of the series. How's the air up there? Jim: No, that's Andy's office. Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, okay. Nellie: Well, Bobby, get accustomed to it because then it feels so good when they finally say yes. Robert: I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me. I hear it. Symbol of transparency. Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? Symbol of transparency. Everyone is somebody's boss, and that person can fire the person below them. Dreamt I could breathe underwater like Jacques Cousteau. . Everyone has the same job. She appears to be religious, as she has mentioned that she attends church. Is it because in some strange way it is you? We are a regular Archibald and his man George. Watch out for... birds. There'd be no titles. There's a blanket in here. Robert: Oh, no, you- Nellie: First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. Loam. Off it goes again. No hablo el cardo, senor? Well, sorry to disappoint, but my huge, whopping penis is right here, [points to her head] and I'm not afraid to use it. More division. Packer: Oh, yikes. There is the whole moving to Scranton nonsense. Don't read. Say, "I can't wait to meet him." Magician: Are you Nellie? It's just random. Magician: Looks like we got a guy from another country here, huh? Robert: I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman. Dwight K. Schrute: Here's the two of them kissing at a beach and kissing at the Eiffel Tower. What you want is a good night's sleep, working mother of two. Everyone has the same job. I went on a shopping spree. Look. Pam: I think... you're a witch. The three slowest laps ever recorded. Nellie: Yeah, thank you. But you all are here, so no harm done at all by my lateness. One day, you're alone, tired. At your feet, a dying bird. I tell you what I'd do. Now sir, will you please shuffled the deck? [sighs]. Ay, caramba! Ha. I'm easy. Pam: That's not a real knot. Wouldn't you rather come talk with me? I was born in the little working-class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, [in an Essex accent] I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit? Jim: That's very interesting. Stanley: Who's a native? So I called Jo, old friend, founder of Sabre, and I told her and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, "Yes!" Jim: Oh, Nellie. I am manager, a natural next step. Either way, 50 minutes of that and you... You are cracking to go. Hmm? Robert: Good. And my hand will never get tired because of the ergonomic shape.". Nellie: That one looks empty. You just sit on the floor. Jim: That's very... Same goes for me. Nellie: Do you really? Kevin: None taken. But, Andrew is the rightful manager so if you would just give him his office- Dwight: You’re not paying me to heal, you’re paying me to kick ass. Are your minds blown? Because it is 10:00. I'm late. Jim: That's very interesting. It was. Shall I? Jim: I think that's probably all we need to hear from.... Um, I feel like there might be a conflict there. Fancy a nap? All right, where's Phyllis? Nellie: Mm-hm. The natives are getting restless! Magician: What? Jim: That's very interesting. Bzz! Nellie: I think you're amazing. Nellie: If you'd let me finish- Or the squash court, or the Supreme Court. Gabe: Okay. Nellie: Nine minutes. Dwight K. Schrute: I have to see these shoes. Nellie: Performance reviews. By the time I got up, it was ten minutes ago. Nellie: I am so happy Dwight is gonna be working alongside me. Jim: Better theory. [points to Ryan] You'd be hilarious trying to do it, like a little boy just let go of his balloon. Pam: How can you give us performance reviews if you don't know us? is her name. Next topic. Robert: [laughing] Nellie, really, nine-fifty? She claims to have once had a one-night stand with Hugh Grant's elder brother, John Grant, an act that she states she completed by \"sheer force of will\" (it is possible that this may be just one of her many li… The men dry up, and the nights get lonely. Robert: No, Nellie, she- Nellie: The water pressure in the hotel is marvelous. Magician: But I never could seem to figure out those knots. Incoming- [tries to touch the wound] Nellie: You must be exhausted. Same goes for me. Same goes for me. Don't think a woman can be a leader? We truly appreciate your support. And when you wake up, you will earn more money. And that doesn't exist either. I never stood a chance. No one will know. Nellie: I knew this would happen! "The Office , Season 7 Quotes." Nellie: [standing up] Him, you say? Web. Dwight K. Schrute: Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core. Seven forty-six, my alarm clock goes off. Watch the Great Schrutini work his magic. Everyone takes their shoes off, before they come in. Dwight K. Schrute: Hmm. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. When you pull on it, it disappears. How hard would it have been to do this, hmm? Nellie: Zen office. Do not say what it is. Sorry, everyone. You're a big, tall man. Nellie: So far, so good. [emotional] I didn't even get a callback. Nellie: Oh! It's how I came to briefly race a Formula One car. You poor, simple boy. Nellie: Test launch day, people. Jim: Like a boyfriend? Sheer force of will. Ryan: I can't wait to meet him. All right, the card is picked. Dwight K. Schrute: Okay scram, wizard. Seven more times I did that. Nellie: No. I want you to pick a card just by looking at it. Everyone would have the same job. Now, I know you probably all think I'm this patrician goddess. Hmm? This is really uncool, okay? Nellie: Everyone would be known for their accomplishments. Jim: No. Robert: How are you adjusting to life in Scranton so far? The only calls on your machine are from collection agencies about that pair of motorcycle boots you never even wore. She's administering massage, alright, if you need it. Robert: I am loving the chemistry between you two. Go the other way. Sockee! This is her ex-boyfriend and they went through some kind of painful breakup. Let's not go there. Jim: I'll do it. Magician: Oh! Nellie: Symbol of transparency. Nellie: The black one. Nellie: By splitting the difference. Oscar: Actually, Nellie, this monologue you're delivering is very offensive. Nellie: We gave you an Arrowhead for free for the day. Robert: Nellie. Who's Phyllis? Magician: Little known fact about me. Go on, say it: "I'm amazing."
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